You're right. I'm afraid, I'm confused and I've got a serious case of the what if's. I've been avoiding facing reality. Trouble is I wont be able to stick to step 2 and will therefore be a big bad waw. I've gone through enough time with h to know that it's not about too little too late it's about this wont last, never has, it's just enough to satiate and make me change my mind. So, when I go I'll be gone. Why do I feel like I should be absolutely certain but also know that I'll never be absolutely certain about what I should do. I just know that I cannot do it this way anymore. I have found myself falling in and out of depressions since h's return. I'm thinking the anxiety I felt while he was gone would be better than the depressions I go through now.
