New To SSM

[COG]

GEL,

What you CAN do is give her specific actions that you will recognize as effort on her part to meet your needs.

I've been doing that for quite some time and she's coming around to it. For the longest time her pride would not allow her to respond. For example a sure way for her to NOT act in ways I needed her to was to be specific about what my needs were. However, we've both changed alot. What I once thought were "needs" I now see as "desires". There's a huge difference, mainly I don't come off as being "needy", but desirous.

So especially in the past few weeks, she's opened to things. But really I had to finally make a stand on certain issues, like her not snapping at me, her being more touchy feely, etc. Basically I let her know that I was'nt going to continue living the way we were, it was OVER, I was DONE! I clarified that I was'nt done with the M, just done with the way the M was. So I have been more specific regarding my desires, AND I've been more serious about having them met.

Now for you greenhorns out there, I've been at this for many years now and my W is finally responsive to some of my requests and prompting. There were MANY years that if I'd made my needs apparent they just fell on deaf ears. In fact, the more needy I appeared the worse our M became to the point where she wanted a D. So just be careful, test the waters, keep doing the things that take you forward, quit doing the things that take you back. Always be aware of your sitch. Something you try today, might not work now, but it may have a positive outcome a year from now. Keep all plays in the playbook.

Thanks GEL!

God Bless,

COG