tommorrow is always a better day for me, but unlike h, I am not good at just putting yesterday behind me without resolution. h can go to sleep and fall asleep (I cannot never have been able to even before all this the day just re-plays in my head) tommorow I will wake on eggshells with h, not knowing what to expect. h will wake and "act as if". I just want a real r, if this is real I don't like it.
I just want peace!! I want to breath! I want to know that I can run over to my h and hug him and not have it be "persuit" I just want to be me damn it!!
