You are right that my H wouldn't be disgusted with my overtures. My problem is that I would like him to do some of the things I do or come up with some of his own.
He seems to be feeling a lot better about us right now. It meant a lot to him to know that I finally see his point of view about some of our problems. Offering me ice cream is evidence of progress.
H got extremely depressed a few weeks ago when I asked him if he decided that making eye contact or physical contact in the bathroom or kitchen and doing nice things wasn't for him. Also, several weeks prior to that, he had done some nice things for me (three days in a row) that were a stretch for him, but there was nothing after that. He had told me many times in the past that I was trying to change his personality, there was something wrong with me, and that I should just accept him as he is. It hurt him that I felt he would never do those nice things again. He got very drunk that night and started crying. The only other time I know that he cried was when his brother almost died. He is not a drinker either. He sometimes has a drink or two in the evening, but he never gets drunk. He was so drunk that night that he was staggering and slurring his words. I didn't realize he had been drinking until after he got back from taking his mom home. I was suprised that he drove in that condition. He normally won't drive if he has even a small drink.
We talked more the next day. I let him know that I do know that he will do nice things sometimes. I asked him if was okay for me to remind him. He said that would be fine. I have reminded him a couple of times, but nothing happened, until my revelation about his point of view. So specific reminders don't do anything for him. I have to wait for him to become flirtatious on his own. The only reminders that seem to do any good are my flirtations and other things that make him feel loved and worthwhile.
So there is a slight chance he wants to be the one to plan something this Saturday. I would like to think that he might like to surprise me with something. But I think that would be too big of a step for him. I think you are right that I should go ahead and ask him whether he wants to plan something, plan it together, or have me plan it.
