Now Surviving Separation

[Heartbroken]

Well I have not posted on my own post in awhile.

H and I are doing fine though it's rough with flashbacks and such. I just saw the OW this morning (at school we are both dropping kids off) at least we stay in our vehicles. Then later at the elem. school saw the OW friend I layed into 8 weeks ago or so - no eye contact though just kept moving out the door...

I cannot wait for the day that these two women do not get a rise out of me...

H thinks he wants to come home by the end of May. He does not seem super gun-ho and one of my close friends who has been therapist #2 to me through all of this sees this as a problem. She thinks he will always wish to be single deep inside - since he is not running back to me ASAP now that the OW has been gone for 6 weeks (this past Sunday).

I have asked him not to come back out of duty to the kids - I need to be wanted and he realizes this. He says he feels he is in relationship burnout due to all the energy he spent dealing with OW and with me. Is this normal? I said at some point he is going to have to get back into the R groove - don't get me wrong he is being good to me it's just that should there be more? I know he feels a tremendous amount of guilt and he is having a hard time understanding how he lost his committment to us...he fears getting that level back... Even in piecing the daily efforts still continue.

I know I am very lucky to be where we are - but I just do not want to be the default choice on his part...

Thanks for listening!

HB