Need help ASAP - convince wife it's not too late

[Heywyre]

GEL - yes, doesn't that just blow them away when we admit to being wrong? I would have to say that H and I argue very effectively most of the time. I can count on one hand how many times there has been any screaming - which I would have to admit was me right after I found out about the A, but I feel I was justified, at least for the first day, no?

My H has some definite mixed emotions going on when it comes to women. For the most part, he prefers to deal with women in business and he will tell anyone that. He just finds them better at understanding the matter at hand and being able to cope with it. But, that also makes me a little squeamish at times because of what has happened.

Believing - of course you are defensive about things. You are at one of the most (if not THE most) vulnerable times in your life and it doesn't feel safe. It is normal (or as normal as it gets) for him to pull away. That's what men do. When my H used to do that I always thought it was me. Have you read Mars and Venus? As much as I find it a little bit of a corny book it does have some valid points about how men's and women's emotions are differnt. It might allow you to understand the dynamics a little more.

My H is very intelligent however, that also makes him VERY head strong when it comes to his opinions, especially when it is me confronting him. Of course, if someone else says the exact same thing to him, other than me, he might think "what a wonderful idea" but never validate that it was ME that said it in the first place. He is getting better at that. I know it has to do with him exposing too much of his vulnerable side but we're working on that. It seems since the last time he went to the C on his own he is admitting to women having "different emotions" than men. Obviously they talked about it and the C must have pointed out a few things to him because he really seems to be "getting it" now. Of course, this still makes me cautious and I wonder how long it will last. But that is being negative. I have to think positively and enjoy the "new" person he has become.

We still have a LOT of work to do but I am thinking more positive these days than I have in a long time. I am not so naive to think that I might not fall back every once in a while but the positive days will help pull me back out of that hole I am sure