The blow of

[SDFoundGirl]

I think taking it slow is a good idea. MC and whatever else you need as a prerequisite. I wouldn't let him move back in until YOU are comfortable with the situation.

My uncle cheated on my aunt, was actually living with his OW when he decided to try to work on the M. My H didn't cheat, but he was on the verge of it, so I've had many discussions with my aunt about that situation.

She basically said it was lots of time and effort to rebuild the M. She'd lost her feelings for him as well. He went out of his way to demonstrate his trustworthiness--going so far as to call when he was even going to be 5 minutes late getting home from work. He still does that. She says that even 30 years later, if he's working late, those thoughts come up. Still...they have a very, very strong, loving M now. My uncle is my blood relative, aunt is by marriage. She is the strongest woman I know.

Be patient with yourself. Set your boundaries and expectations, and then give yourself time. This H is different from the H you fell in love with. Get to know him again, work on your issues together, and be patient.

Good luck.

SD