I don't see where anything you just said is much different than the point I made.
I am NOT minimizing EAs, PAs nor the pain they cause. I am talking about avoiding pain, pursuing pleasure... and integrity <-- That stuff doesn't come from RULES. It doesn't come from VOWS. If it did, NO ONE who is married would ever stray.
It is built into the fabric of our beings to avoid pain and pursue pleasure. (escape/validate). Integrity is the apex.
It's learned. And it's painful sometimes. We all have to learn it and it SUCKS (well, we don't have to, but I think most aspire to it, anyway). Integrity is the corner stone of boundaries... and if you don't have IT, you can't hang on to your boundaries.
We all break the integrity rule, to others... but most especially to ourselves. And though I see Chrome as having violated his integrity, and the integrity of his marriage... MRS. CHROME is doing the same darn thing, in her own way, and until SHE can see that, and until Chrome can get HIS integrity under control, it isn't helping either one of them to throw stones at one another.
I am NOT defending Chrome's actions, nor am I saying that anyone is ganging up on him, or whatever. I am NOT saying that Mrs. Chrome isn't hurting, nor that she doesn't have a right to hurt. She does. Of course she does.
I personally believe that the way she will find her way past her resentment, MAYBE (if Chrome keeps his nose clean)... and MAYBE learns to trust again... is to LOOK AT HERSELF and see what her own actions MIGHT have contributed to it (who knows... maybe she is a victim, I don't know. I don't know her). That doesn't take away the hurt. Hopefully... though, it would help the hurt to heal.
Okay, climbing off my phiolosophical soap box, I shall leave with one last thing: Heather, your 'taking one drink' analogy doesn't work. It's legal. If you are over 21. If you are under 21, you still have an ethical issue at play... we all break that rule (well... a lot of us did)... does it make it right because so many break it? No.
