Piecing Advice

[SDFoundGirl]

Thanks all. I've had a few days, and I'm less emotional now.

I respect that H may still have feelings for LW (Letter Woman--a coworker he was infatuated with and writing love letters to which he says he never sent), but I do not respect him lying to me. He has no reason to think I'd tell him not to go or be upset; hell, I invited the b!tch to the surprise party I threw him for his birthday. Never in the past or in recent history have I tried to keep him from going out anywhere with anyone.

Anyway, I finally sat him down and told him I was feeling uncomfortable because I knew he was lying to me. He had a whole host of excuses, including telling me he'd meant to tell me but he just got confused. It's B.S., but he looked me in the eye and said he was over LW, that he was committed to the M, and I believe that 95%. I just told him that trust was huge with me, and so he had to be vigilant about being truthful.

I also brought up how frustrated I'm feeling because I feel like I'm the only one actively bringing things to the table and using the strategies we're learning in MC. He's still avoiding conflict, still holding onto things...and I'm tired. He acknowledged he wasn't doing as much as he could and said he'd try.

I'm not 100% about this M, but I'm cautiously optimistic. I'm proud of myself for not accusing him or attacking him and focusing on how I was feeling and what I needed from the R.

Back to GAL--I need to keep taking care of me.

Thanks to all of you who posted--Jen, Rob, Lin (where in SD are you?), Dana, Julie....you guys rock!

SD