I discovered my husband was at this site. It is adult dating site...But then I looked around the site and saw my husband had created an account. He didn't actually pay for it so is only a limited member. When I read his words that he typed of his own accord my stomach just fell out. He said he was bored and looking. He said he liked his women to say just what they want. And that he was looking for some wild and discreet sex. On his marital status he put he preferred not to say. I never thought possible but maybe my husband is chaeting or is thinking about it. I am just so hurt today.
Oh Trying...NOP's is right, BOY do I know how this feels!!! It's a kick in the gut isn't it? I actually have a few more minutes than I thought I would so I can begin replying now for you. One thing I want to start off with "he didn't actually pay for it"....YET. I'd be willing to bet that once women start contacting him...he'll pay for it. Hey may not be paying for it right now...but once the lure is out there, he's likely to bite.
FWIW...just a bit of background for ya, my H cheated on me through Adult Friend Finder. He too had a profile online, and had contacted (and had been contacted by) many women. He showed a side on that website I NEVER got to see. He was on it for TWO years before I found out and used a yahoo e-mail account to receive contacts from the women.
A few questions...
Does he know you found out about this? If not, don't tell him yet...not yet. If you do, you will be giving him a chance to cover his tracks and hide things more securely from you. You need to find out the real extent of what he is doing.
Is it limited to this....or does he have a secret e-mail account you don't know about? I suggest you install a keylogger on your computer to find out....because you REALLY need to know what it is you are dealing with here before you confront him. Either way what he is doing is cheating, putting his profile on this adult website...e-mailing women (if he is), IM'ing other women (which there's a good liklihood of) IS CHEATING. It is going oustside of your marriage to have sexual/emotional needs met...CHEATING. I want you to be clear on this point...it's not "could he be cheating on me", he IS cheating on you with this activity. Cheating isn't limited to physical contact with another person. However when you do confront him, expect that he's not going to see it this way.
Is it limited to this website only? I found with my H that it wasn't...he had profiles on several websites.
When he doesn't have access to the computer...does he get irritable, compulsively check his e-mail, clear history?
