I don't know if I should be in this forum or in Surviving the Big D.
I was posting under another name in Newcomers back in Dec 06, but X found my postings and was using them against me. Anyway here is a recap of my sit:
Me: 33 X: 36 (almost 37) Kids: DS 12, DS 10(almost 11) and sister 15 Bomb dropped Dec 1, 2006. D paperwork filed March 07 (on my b-day!), D finalized 4-16-07
As soon as bomb was dropped, I started DBing my butt off. But nothing seemed to make a difference. In the begining, we tried to act like nothing was different for the sake of the kids - to get through the holidays. After the new year X started slowly moving his stuff from our room to the basement, but continued to sleep in our bed. After a few weeks of that, I had all I could handle and moved the rest of his items to the basement and he has been sleeping there ever since. We told the kids about the D and that we were going to put the house up for sell.
By the end of Jan 07, X would hardly talk to me. He would come and go as he pleased. "work" all hours of the day and night and go out to the bars with his buddies. When he was home, he pretty much stayed in the basement - ignoring me and the kids. I was still trying to DB and hoping that things would turn around. I only brought up R talk a few times and it was mainly about him ignoring the kids and not our R in general. He wasn't talking to me at all - about anything.
Come March 26th (my b-day) he went to his lawyer and had them start the paperwork. He had already been to his lawyer before this and he wanted us to agree on everything so it didnt cost him as much money. By that Friday, the paperwork was completed. I got to view it and I did agree with everything. The paperwork was signed and filed on April 2. The judge finalized it on April 16th.
After the judge signed the papers, X came home and told me the following: * he wanted the wedding rings back. I was fine with this. They were his parents rings in the first place and I looked at them as being bad luck anyway - since his parents are divorced and now we are too.
* He wanted the cell phone back that I was using. And he told me that I had till April 18th to get the house phone lines and the internet into my name or he was disconnecting them
* He was leaving town on Friday April 20 and would not be back till Wed April 25. And it was none of my business where he was going since we are now divorced
* He will be moving in with his father either the end of April or beginning of May. But we are both financially responsible for the mortgage, power and gas on this house till it sales.
I want to keep DBing and try and work things out with the X, but it is so hard when he is being so hateful and negative towards me. I don't know if he is going through a MIL or not. I think that there is an OW, but I have no proof. He barely spends anytime with the kids and is leaving me to answer all their questions and be the bearer of bad news to them.
