For the last two weeks, I have suspected something was wrong with my H. At first his stressed out, defeated voice made me think he was actually missing me and the kids. Last week we had exchanged a few borderline nasty e-mails, and a few abrupt phone calls. Then on Friday, I made up my mind that I had to just let some things go. I had been putting up a wall between us trying to prove to him that we can't be friends, and that he was not better off without us. It was exhausting, so I decided to meet him halfway.
Friday afternoon we had a short nice conversation on the phone. Nothing major, just a little small talk. Saturday we had another nice conversation. I felt free for the first time in months. Then everything came crashing down around me.
It started with a text Saturday night. "Are you going to be around tonight? Might need to talk" I said yes, "but it sounds ominous." Him, "yes, it's serious." I knew exactly what he was going to tell me. I said, "She's pregnant isn't she?" "Yes, she says so."
Wow!! I braced myself all last year for it, and it finally happened. Apparently back in February when they got together for no more than a week, she supposedly got pregnant. There are a lot of holes in her story, but my H is falling for it hook, line, and sinker. She said she didn't think anything of it, because she only has periods every other month. So she apparently hasn't had one since January, but realized just three weeks ago she might be pregnant.
She didn't want to "involve" my H yet, but thought he should know. Two weeks ago when she told him, she said she would take a test at the end of the week, because it would be more accurate then. If she got pregnant in mid February, a test would have been positive at least by the second week of March, but he bought her story. So last weekend, she supposedly took a test, and it was positive. My H wanted to be there for it, but she told him it was private. He said he needed proof, and she said she would send him the paperwork from the ultrasound she was supposedly going to have at the end of last week. She has been very defensive about him not believing her. She is upset that she won't trust him. He "doesn't want to hurt her." Too bad.
She gave him an ultimatum that he needed to commit to her or she would have an abortion, because she didn't want to raise another child by herself, "a child deserves two parents," and she didn't want my H to "just be a weekend dad". What does she think my kids have? Why don't my kids deserve two parents?
Anyway, she gave him until last night to make up his mind, she told him that he needed to commit because he wanted to, not because of the baby. Obviously when they broke up in February, he told her he didn't want to commit. Why does she think that he would commit now for any other reason than the baby?
So for my part in all of this, I have tried to be there for my H. Amazingly, I did not overreact to what he told me. We talked for several hours on Saturday night, and even met up in person to talk for a while. He has really opened up to me and let me in. He is so close to his breaking point with all of this. I told him that this might just be the thing that makes him realize once and for all what he wants out of life. He agreed. He said that if she isn't pregnant, then it would be the end of their relationship for sure, and if she was, he would probably try to work it out for the sake of the baby.
I advised him to find out if she was pregnant before he took another step. He agreed that he would ask her again to take a test in front of him, and planned on doing last night after work. I was a nervous wreck for two hours. Then I got a text from him saying that she did not take it well, still maintains she is pregnant, but refuses to take a test. She is going to fax him a doctor's report. He said they would talk when he gets it.
There are so many holes in her story for me to really put much faith in it. Maybe that is why I am still relatively calm about the whole thing. But obviously there is a chance she is telling the truth. It scares me. Our marriage is over, and he has filed for divorce, but I did have some hope for us. This takes that all away. I won't even get into the affect this will have on our children, I am trying not to think about that right now.
I guess until she provides proof that she is pregnant, she will hold us all hostage with this drama. Then either the OW will be permanently out of my H's life, or a permanent part of it.
