It's because you were so hurt. You've guarded your heart, that's why you're not excited. To tell you the truth, I've been piecing for 2 years and although I'm not consumed with his A, I do wonder at times why I bother. Don't get me wrong, he is very remorseful, text book remorseful, but the damage has already been done. Here's how I did it and still do it, I take one day at a time. I tell myself that life has not guaratees and no one is perfect. I use to think I hate my husband but the truth is I hate what my husband did to us, to me. You will find here that most people here on this board will tell you that your marriage can be better than it ever was. I'm still waiting to see that happen. For me, it isn't. Why? Because a huge part of me is gone and it's gone forever. It was a part of me that I happen to like, and I would love to have that back. I also work on me, not my marriage, but me. I believe that if the marriage is intended to work, it will. I put a lot of effort into making it work, and to his credit so does he, but we both know, it isn't and never will be the same. We're more friends now than husband and wife. It isn't a bad life, and it's okay for me, but what about you? What do YOU want? That's what you have to find out for yourself, then you'll know what to do. It sounds like your husband wants to work things out, that's what HE wants, now ask yourself, is that what I want? I hope you understand this. I experience a lot of second guessing, but for the most part, I'm okay. This is one thing that I learned along the way, I will be okay either way, married to my husband or single. I am stronger, wiser and I don't look to him to make me happy. Like the saying goes, don't wait for someone to bring you flowers, plant your own garden.
