Chrome said: I wanted to respond and ask why more sex, more affection, more time together would make her miserable, but I didn't get the chance.
Fearless said:
DON'T!!!
DO NOT put those words in her mouth!!! Stop Stop Stop...
I’m going to differ her. I think this is the exact type of question Chrome needs to bring up. I think his W goes to great lengths to suppress how she really feels about life, not just Chrome and the M. Any discussion that touches on what she really wants will be helpful. Her M.O. is avoidance.
"You just want to change me into her."
She cried a lot after saying that, and after she settled down a bit,….
I don’t get the impression she was crying because she was reliving hurts from the EA, I think she was crying because she does not know what to do (just like Chrome), she feels hopeless, lost, powerless and that scares the cr@p out of her. She is looking for the support and security she is accustomed to getting from her parents and it is not coming.
This scenario is different from crying because of hurt from the EA. I do think she feels that, but I think her bigger issue is that the EA hurt has exposed deeper insecurities. If she were a fully secure and confident person, and she saw Chrome going through the counseling and learning needed to turn his life around, I think she would be quite reassured by it. She might still be wary, but she would be reassured.
GEL, I see you as this type of confident woman. If your H went through the efforts Chrome has, how would you feel about the security of your M? Would you be crying as Chrome’s W is? If not, then there is another issue at play, and I think the “evidence” keeps coming back to MrsChrome’s issues.
Chrome can do a lot to help comfort her, but this is something she is going to have to be willing to face on her own. She can decide to deal with this voluntarily, through the guidance of a counselor, understanding the importance of this for her M, or she can confront this involuntarily after the M has split and she is “forced” to find a way to save the M. In the latter case, she might not have the support of Chrome to help her through. Better that he pushes the issues now, IMO.
