Cobra/Cemar Cemars comments are very similar to what my W said. She basically said that one of us is going to have to change who they are, and that person will be miserable. I think her exact words were "I feel like you are going to leave me if I don't change, and then I will be miserable either way."
This is something we all go through as we see changes we need to make. We recoil in horror and say "I can't do XYZ ever again? I'll go nuts" or "I've got to do ABC every single day for the rest of my life? I'm getting worn out just thinking about it!"
And then we backslide and face that again. And again.
When you get right down to it, the results have to be rewarding to you. You can't do it purely for someone else's benefit, or you will get sick of putting in the effort day after day with no payoff. How do you get past that when the payoff is slow in coming?
Originally Posted By: chromosphere
I wanted to respond and ask why more sex, more affection, more time together would make her miserable, but I didn't get the chance.
That's a good question, although probably not phrased the right way. There's something she'd have to give up, or something she'd have to face, if she spent more time being open and affectionate with you. You probably don't really know what it is, and odds are she doesn't either.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
