I agree. So the issue is not so much the message but the interpretation of the message. Her filters are putting forth a bias that stops the true meaning from coming through because that meaning is threatening to her. It is her defense system at work and it is normal, and in light of what little we know of her past, it makes sense. But it still needs to change.
So, not only is that impossible in her eyes...it's also hurtful to her, because that would be very easy to interperet as "not good enough".
There is little Chrome or anyone else can do to help her get past this way of thinking. He can offer support and assurance, which does help, but in the end she has to overcome this lack of confidence on her own. It has to do with something inside her. Why is change impossible for her? Why is it hurtful to her? Why does she think she is not good enough?
Chrome,
Like GEL says, this is a good time for counseling or at least some type of education. I still think it would help your W a lot to read this board. Your task is to not let her stay in her present comfort zone where she can maintain her blinders, but instead allow her to confront the hard choices when they come up. That will mean that you have to stop walking on eggshells and be willing to bring things up in a healthy way. Don’t worry about sparing her pain. That is part of the growth. I don’t know of any way around it.
