Could Use Some Input Over here

[RedHeadWife]

Hey guys. Put some of this over in another thread, but here's an update on my sitch.

Kind of flubbed up a little Friday evening about OW/EA. Made a snide remark about his cell phone after it rang & he said it was work. All this time, I've thought his "friend" was a woman he worked w/. I said I know she still calls you. He said yeah, so & so and so & so call me from work, but I don't work w/ my friend. (where in the heck did he meet her then?? Decided to let that one go!!) Anyway, he said that his "friend" "has been taken care of."

So, this weekend has been good. I've done a lot of healing. I've decided I don't care where he knew her from, I am just going to trust that she is no longer an issue. I have decided that my H now feels loved & cared for by me, his W, and that should be enough. I feel that I have made so many changes in my thought patterns about our R and M, that I don't need to worry that we will ever go back to the rut of an M we had. He is the one that is going to make good "choices" while he's gone and I feel I have done above & beyond to help him know that what he has w/ me is awesome and nothing is worth hurting that again by cheating again.

And, of course this may be talking big, but I've also gotten to the point where I am more self-assured and confident in our M and if he chooses to cheat again, I don't think I will be able to forgive. Like I said, what we have going right now is awesome and if that's not enough, then nothing will ever be enough and there is nothing more I could or can do.

I am not, however, dwelling on the negative. I know that I am doing everything I can to keep our M healthy and my H to feel secure, loved, taken care of, etc. in our M.

And I must say it feels good. I am happier than I have been in a long, long time. I could probably use a little more "feeling loved" from my H, but I just don't know that he's there yet (ready to let it all hang out) and as long as I know he is feeling loved by me, that's enough for now.

And, yes, I have learned through all of this how very important a good sex life is to a M as well. This was something I was totally missing before, but now realize how important it is to our intimacy, etc. and that it is good for ME too, not just my H.