She IS going to have to change. If that only means she is more aware of her issues as well as yours, then that is change. If she becomes more empathic to your needs, then that is change. If she comes to recognize her FOO issues and can begin to control her reactivity toward them, then that is change. If she can become more self confident, more self assured, then she will develop a more rounded and balanced outlook on life, which is change. How is it that she must not change?
What I think she is hearing is that she needs to become a different woman, like the one you had the EA with. That is trying to live up to some imaginary fantasy standard, something she will never be able to do. That fear makes a good excuse not to try anything. I know you are not asking her to become that woman. Yet your W must change.
Will she be willing to undertake this growth if you she sees you going back to living life as you did a few years ago? If she sees you as regressing back to the old Globule, do you think she will want to change and do her part? Of course not. If nothing else, it would simply be unfair. Yet that seems to be what CeMar repeatedly wants. After everything discussed here, that expectation, from such a long time member of this board, is plain stupid.
