Hi to all of you and thank you so much for all your kind thoughts and helpful ideas on the mini crisis.
H ended up coming home from work 3 hours late that night so that didn't help matters at all - my head was thinking up so many things. I just couldn't seem to find my stop sign anywhere.
Anyway he asked if I was OK because he said I'd seemed quite when he called earlier in the evening. He thought it was because he was late home so I said he'd dropped something and that I'd done something bad and thought he'd be angry with me (ie snooping) and that I had found out something I wished I hadn't. I gave him the sim card and he still didn't get it so I read the texts to him. He said that the two texts were actually one big text which when you read them together it does kind of change the context - making one of the sentences "I thought you might want to meet him". So the story is that the guy mentioned is someone she has known for years and he's a bit undesirable by the sounds of it and has asked her out and she wanted my H to meet him to see what he thought of him!?!?!?!? Now from the texts that does make sense but what the?? Why on earth does she think my H should vet her poptential dates?? Sounds down right cheeky to me at the very least.
H said he can't even remember getting it or talking to her about it afterwards - he did change his sim card and phone the next day so that sounds understandable. He didn't get cross at all and was really put out that I'd been upset about it all night and also reassured me that she absolutely was not on his night out on the Thursday.
So I felt more than a little foolish at getting so worked up (that'll teach me) but also a little skeptical about believing it all. Then I remembered my friend who works at the same place had told me she likes to "attach" herself to people and make things sound worse than they are to get attention so maybe she was right about her all along. Seems she finds my H's kind and generous nature too hard to resist and my H doesn't realise where that kind of attention can lead to.
This trust stuff is so hard after a separation. I always struggled with it a little due to my first H cheating on me a lot. When you have seen the lenghts people go to and the stories they tell to cover their tracks it makes it very hard to just believe what people say without analyzing and wondering if it is a double bluff.
Once again thank you all so much for helping me - I don't know what I'd do without these boards.
