He is leaving to be alone to THINK - now what?

[ourcrisis]

A bit of update.
H is really trying to please me. I mentioned that I wanted him to ask me how I feel instead of treating like a business partner (i.e. simply discussing things to do for the family). He asks every few hours, though it ends in that with little genuine followup with whatever answer I give. It is a step forward because he does not open up. I accused him of sharing feelings with OW, but not me and he denied saying he does not open up to anyone at all and I am already the person he opens up the most. I will have to accept that.
My biggest thing is that now he is still in contact with OW. I don't think they are seeing each other anymore (it's been a week?) but they are still talking. He still misses her terribly but so far I don't think he is seeing her. From the little that he tells me, she is pleading with him everyday to see/talk to him. I don't know when/if he will comply or stand his ground. I SO SO wish that he is determined to stay with me and let her go. But I don't know. I am trying to be welcoming but I am also feeling so bad that he cannot break contact completely. I think in his mind, he still truly believes he can JUST BE HER FRIEND and all the books about cutting off 100% is just BS.

Last time I blew up on him and said I do not want to keep pretending nothing ever happened and I feel a need to talk about R. He suggests that we talk everyday (I was actually thinking only 2x a week or once a week). We had one talk so far only. We will see if this can last.
I do have second thoughts about having R talk when he is still missing her so much and still talking to her. I would like your opinion (though this probably belongs to piecing). In this situation where H thinks he is trying to end the A, and is taking baby steps in doing so, but A is still there (talking, may be email, who knows), do you think it is beneficial to have R talk? If so, what kind of R talk? about how A happened? About his current level of contact with her? About his feelings towards her now? About how we can rebuild M? talk on making him promise to be honest (when I am not sure he can be 100%)? H verbally agreed to talk about the above (though I pushed him into it somewhat), but I am not sure if he can actually goes through with talking without lying or being completely open.
I wonder on one hand that I want to get to the bottom of this so we can move on and I don't want to bring it up again after he is over her. On the other hand, may be I should wait till he IS OVER OW before we talk about this? I am quite confused.

All and all though from his actions towards me, I appreciate what he is doing. He is trying. I am trying to be nice to him also but i am actually having lots of trouble doing this now when he is back than before when A was still in full force. Partly because I am discovering more lies and I simply do not know if I can tolerate all these lies and stay with the M. Partly also I am having trouble being nice to him when I know he is missing her terribly. I think bottomline is that at this point, my love tank is so low that I am having trouble continuing. This is sad because I know we are very close to getting back. I keep praying that I can just last long enough for him to be completely honest and open with me, and break off 100% with OW before I call it quits.