I am trying to adjust and realized I need to decide if I want to be married to him no matter what he decides.
(((((Matilda)))))
Sometimes long term decisions, especially emotional ones, are best made when there is as little background noise as possible. Marriage can be fraught with complications, children, the extended family, friends and the list goes on. Have you had time to quell the external noise?
How is D16 taking all this?
Have you taken care of your financial future, regardless of what happens?
Could it be that you have not been decluttering because you do not want him back By the way, in our home and those of most of our friends, the H shares decluttering tasks.
By the way, in our home and those of most of our friends, the H shares decluttering tasks. 
