Fran It is bad enough not getting any but hanging around places where you can dance/get drunk/get hit on and STILL not get laid is torture. So I won't do it. OK. I get the idea. I suppose if I was in a HD woman it would be too easy to step over the line, especially with alcohol around. Although I would go but wouldn't drink. You are the authority of your life.
]b] he brings in the income I do EVERYTHING (and I mean everything) else. [/b] WOW, I never was in a R like that. I did all of the earning and all of the guy things.
he doesn't stop a four day moody unless the problem has been rooted out. The problem was somewhere between the car and a need to keep his distance. Sometimes I wonder if he might be an avoidant personality....I don't believe he has a full-blown personality disorder Sounds like you/he could use some low level professional help. I think if he had a serious personality disorder you would know it, and a lot sooner.
Lou, what made you wake up and realize that life doesn't need to be work, work, work. When I figured out the more I worked, the more we spent.
Another thing that caused some shift in my thinking was seeing that buying things at an increasing rate was like being on a tread mill. At first something new every 3 months seemed to make everyone happy then it was down to buying things a couple times a week. The tread mill effect was very noticeable.
The next thing that caused me to over work, equally important was a belief that if I didn't do the work I would lose customers or lose my status at work. At work, we all worked on commission and anyone working in that environment knows it is competitive.
If you turn down work sometimes the person that routed the work gave the good jobs to the other guys.
Working was al so a sense of security. Money coming in to save or to put in a retirement plan.
Mr. Hap is definitely someone who feels the need to get all the shoulds out of the way before moving to the want to’s. Myself I prefer the want to’s. The shoulds can wait to another day. Usually if you do that then the shoulds either turn themselves into have to’s or disappear Call me Mr. Hap Fran.
The should do's if not done in a timely manner, go to someone else when you are a business owner.
Since I cut back on my work, I lost about 50% of my customers. They usually want things fast. What they are in need of is very important to them. It doesn't matter if another person or company needs something more important than they do. If I don't do both customer's work ASAP, they don't come back.
It is my observation, non-business owners don't see the business world as owners do.
As a self-employed person. if I don't provide what my customer wants and in their time frame, s/he doesn't stay with me. Other people advertise more than I do and they tend to attract my customers I can‘t satisfy fast enough.
The good part is I have enough $$ to live on so losing some customers that want their needs met in a short time, doesn't cause me as much stress anymore. I can fall back on my reserves because I spend a lot less than I did 10/30 years ago and the house and retirement fund are paid off/up.
I also notice hourly or salaried employees talk a lot more about what they are going to do and how they are going to spend money. (what is in it for them/rewards)
I hear business owners talking about attracting customers, bidding jobs, doing the work, and paying the bills. (what do I have to do to earn/effort)
