lol...I didn't know that SD lived in San Diego area also..
Rob...I have been at this since I realized my H was "really" having a MLC...you see before I never realized the effect this has on the whole family...but in fairness to H I also had to try and understand the otherside...as crazy as it was...I remembered back to when I had boyfriends in school (since MLC'er act like school kids this did help)...and how if I found myself wanting to break things off the turmoil that I went through but didn't let on about...I figured the same was true of H and his feelings...also, once the break was made I would often think back about that person and the good times we shared...even got back together with an ex-b/f once because I called him like a few years late...actually we "played around" in a few different times zones in our young lives...before H and after H and I started dating...so I realized that even though you might leave someone it takes time for them to really "leave you"...
The heart is treacherous...and this is what some of our spouses are really struggling with...I am thankful that my H can tell me that he has no feelings for "her" anymore...this wasn't always the case though...and he let me know it on more then one occasion...it was hard to swallow but I it just made me more determined to be the better person for him...and it is working...but not without setbacks!
We have been through and are still going through the financial lies....then there was alcohol addiction....the finally admitted depression (suprise!)...the job issues...and just being honest with me about his feelings...
Just because they come home...doesn't mean they are "well"...it is hard but if you can find compassion in you...you can make it through all of this crap too...
I keep my eye on the goal...I want a happy marriage...that is my goal...and I remind H of this when I feel he is straying from that...we both need to be happy or it won't work...and that means compromises and trust in the other person...it all takes time...
