Last Wednesday night, after a solo C session, W told me, as we lay in bed in the dark, that she wanted to try to get things right between us. I told her that we couldn’t really make any progress until the OM thing was resolved. She wanted to discuss it then and there, but I asked her to put it off til morning.
Thursday morning, we had our little chat. She acknowledged that she had been behaving badly over the past several months (more like a year!) and appreciated that I had hung in there. We had a good OR conversation (the first one in a long time) and I asked her what was the story with OM. She said that she had realized that he was a manipulator and that he was not for her; that she wanted to strengthen our marriage. She stated that she was through with her relationship with him and wanted to be with me. We both agreed to work towards that end. There were no ILY’s on either side.
The next day was Valentine’s Day. I gave her a humorous card (no gift) and she gave me a card which had a target on the front with a heart as the bullseye, with an arrow through the heart, and read, “got me!” Inside, it said, “I’m yours, Happy Valentine’s Day” and she signed it “Your Secret Admirer.” So, no heavy stuff, either from me or her. She also gave me after-shave lotion.
Saturday evening, we went to a private, string quartet recital, and she held my hand throughout the performance.
Since then, we’ve had sex a couple of times, and again it wasn’t anything heavy. In fact, she described it as “fun.” I’ve continued to DB, and will continue to do so. I think the fact that I was finally able to detach in some measure resulted in her apparently doing a 180 of sorts: I let her come and go as she pleased without questioning; joined a jazz band; tried to be upbeat and calm around her, did not pursue nor initiate OR talks, etc.
Yesterday, she came up to me and said, “Don’t read too much into it, but I have very loving feelings toward you right now.” I acknowledged her statement, saying something along the lines of, “that’s nice, thank you.”
So, that’s where we are right now. It’s been less than a week, so I’m not prepared to declare this a miracle by any means. I must admit that I figured that it would be at least another 6-8 months before I’d be working on Chapter 8 of DR -- Let’s hope and pray that I/we can Keep the Positive Changes Going.
