Quote: One area that can be worked on now that will help draw you closer is to open up the lines of communication. Not talking about OR talk directly, but encourage her to express her feelings and thoughts, if she directs them towards OR that's fine, if not that's OK too.
Nope. Can't even have an "indirect" civil talk. All I'll get, in return (at this stage) will be lies; and I don't want to deal with more lies right now. So, the stupid fly on the wall thinks that we're living an Ozzie & Harriett life. He should know the truth. At least four instances come to mind where friends of mine maintained long-term relationships with OM/OW, none of which lasted for less than five years. Two of them lasted close to twenty years and were terminated by the death of the betraying H in both cases. Their spouses supposedly didn't know. And in one of these sits, the widow held sway in one room of the funeral home, at the viewing, and the OW received her mourners in another room. So, this raises the question: if the cheating spouse wants to enjoy the fruits of the best of both worlds, keeps everybody in line, throws the at-home spouse a crumb occasionally and acts as if she is really a wife -- and at the same time cultivates this other relationship, how long can one successfully DB in the face of this? Seems to me that, if after, say, 2 or 3 years, the SAS can't get the whole ball of wax, well, then, it's time for him to walk. Doncha think?
