W announces yesterday, that she's still in contact with OM (telephone calls only -- he calls her, she doesn't call him), that he now has cancer and she will not terminate the contact as originally agreed. I kept my cool as best I could, reminded her that it was counter to our original agreement and that I certainly couldn't approve of it. Still DB'ing thru this all, but must admit that injecting this piece of old troubling business into the stew does complicate things again. I'm thinking that now is the time for me to dim down the lights a little bit, find reasons to cancel some of the upcoming social commitments we've made together and do my own thing at an increased pace. I recognize, again, that I can't change her actions or thoughts -- as self-defeating as I may think they are -- all I can do is keep a tight reign on my reactions and my own actions and thoughts.
I can't help but wonder if the recent overtures to me were a means of keeping me "in equipoise", so that she could go about her relationship with him with a minimum of disturbance from me. In an earlier post, I said I'd give it one more year. Frankly, I don't know if one more year of watching this craziness unfold in front of me would be healthy for me. Incidentally, since $$ seems to be a major issue for her, I have been seriously thinking of exploring the possibility of a so-called "mid-marriage agreement" wherein a disposition of assets and allocation of rights and obligations is made while H and W are still together. Sounds like a pretty good way of getting one troublespot out of the way while a H and W remain under the same roof. Sam
