Hi Sam - sounds like we're doing the same kind of things..except my H filed for D and is not even sure that was a good idea. I felt the same way you did about "more of the same". I finally couldn't stand acting like I didn't care where he was or who he was with. This wasn't about him, it was about me and what the sitch did to me. I asked him to be honest about who he would be spending his late night evenings with. When he has scheduled a "coffee date" witht the OW, our children and I would not sit at home. We would go to my parents or a friends house for movie night and a sleep over. The kids love it. I'm much more relaxed now that I'm not sitting at home while he's out and I feel better.
He, on the other hand, does not like my new reaction. I've explained to him that this is not about him, it's about myself feeling better. I won't sit here anymore while he's out with her. If he's spending time out with friends, that's quite another thing.
I feel better. My H said he now respects my decision to make myself feel better. He also thinks that I've raised the bar and he needs to really think about what's important.
May not work exactly for you - but I couldn't stand myself any longer and feel better now that I've made this new boundary for myself.
