Robbie, I did give W an ultimatum, as described in the Dobson and Harley books (which we've both read). In fact, W wrote OM a "Harley letter". However, they continued with their contacts even after she sent him the letter. All the gory details of my situation are on other topic boards and can probably be found by searching my user name. We also had a face to face meeting with OM, his W, my W and myself! So, my W knows full well what the score is, and yet she persists in this behavior. But, as we all know, there's nothing that we can do to control our spouse's thoughts or actions. I'm making needed changes in my life and if she finds them appealing, all well and good. If she doesn't, the changes will serve me in good stead in the future. What else can I say or think? Sam
