As a matter of fact, H and I had a discussion about that today - regrets, what has happened to our R over the years etc. and he said "sometimes I wish we hadn't moved to that city" etc. etc. etc. But then I said, "no, perhaps it would have been better, but we also wouldn't be the people we are today and I feel good about our R and what it can be in the future". He seemed surprised and said, "you do? So do I"
We also agreed that we would not be able to appreciate each other the way we do now had we just had the perfect little "girl down the street" romance. Do I wish my life on anyone? Hell no! But would I trade it for someone's else's life - not a chance. I love who I am, and I love who he is. He's a good person, and deserves me (as arrogant as that might sound) just as I deserve to have a good H in my life, and that is something we will have to work on, and at least he is willing to do that.
He brought the subject of that "article" up again and said that he thought about it and was "really interested" in the concept of it, "but how does one change their pattern of thinking after so many years" and I said, "a lot of hard work, together" and he smiled and told me how lucky he was to have me in his life. We agreed that I would run it by the C in one of my sessions to see if he is qualified to give us some guidance. If not, perhaps he can recommend someone. H is a little skeptical but at least he seems willing to give it a try. He knows something has to change, he just doesn't know how to do it. I told him it will be like starting all over again, from when he was a teenager and just experimenting with sex. We will have to take it one step at a time, allowing him to get comfortable with each level.
I feel positive about the progress we have made, although we did have to go through hell and back to get here. But then, that will make the victory all the sweeter right?
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)