Sometimes you need a certified sex therapist. There is a website for ASECT (I think that is the correct acronym) that will give you a list in your area.
I sympathize because I think this is going on in my R also. My dh has a great way to shut down anything sexual - if I come up from behind him while he is on the couch and kiss his neck or give a sexual caress (to try to encourage some kind of flirting/sex life outside of the bedroom) he will smile and give me a closed mouth smooch or sometimes even "jump" and and uncomfortably wiggle around. It would never occur to him to come up behind ME and do anything of the kind. Before we were married he used to do some things like that. Once we got married I became representative of wifey and Mommy - blech!
