2940, it takes time. Even if he did move back in tomorrow it will take time lots of it. It may be more difficult for you to make your permanent changes with him home. It may get easy to slip back into old routines. You will probably have paranoia of what he is doing and with whom when he is not around. That could cause you to go back into the controling behavior.
My H still lives at home. When he first told me about how stressed he was, I thought if I just started cleaning like he wanted, made sure he did not have to do much, that everything would be ok. It was for awhile then I would want to know how everything was and it would send him back into stress mode or I would ask questions again about things he thought were resolved. My H is dealing with A LOT right now. Because I never got over an A from before we were married. I was driving him nuts it was adding to the stress building up within him already. I was no longer his safe place to go. I think I almost pushed him into the arms of someone else. Thankfully everything stopped, but still my H was tired of everything. He is still stressed.
I have to really step back, I have to really make changes. Sure I want to ask all sorts of questions I am impatient at times. But I also know I want this to work. So I am giving him his space. No calls, no texts, very little conversation unless he initiates, no ML unless he initiates (I was accused of forcing him ), No questions of how he is doing, no asking when he will be home. No letting him push my buttons. We work opposite shifts so we do not see eachother much. I am just waiting for him to feel better about himself and then feel good about us being together as well. Today I got really sad because he has not called my cell in 6 days. Then minutes later he called the house phone to tell me his sister was dropping by.
Its just hard really hard. I am praying a lot having faith. Hoping for the best.
