Help me

[stubborn]

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. IF YOU CALL NOW WE HAVE 2 INSULTS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!!!

I ignored the email about OWs kids. But it is good to know that spouse is "not encouraging any closer relationships" between OWs kids and our DD. At least that's what she told me in criticizing me for saying "NO" to having OWs son to DDs BD party. Am I dreaming? Somebody wake me up...

So I came home from a HARD work week bummed and with my usual "what will the weekend hold" blues. I wanted to do something fun to pick myself up. Should have been proactive. WOULDA, SHOULDA, COULDA, f-it! I took my life in my hands and asked spouse what her plans were for the evening. She was busily cleaning in prep for DDs BD party on Sunday. She tells me she's going to clean until dinner and then she's "going out tonight" because she "will be home tomorrow night". Oh, now I get it. That makes perfect sense. I just walked away.

Went out to work on the back yard, soon to be site of BD party. Spouse comes out and says we can take DD and sleepover friend shopping for BD party tomorrow night. (ooooh baby! sounds like fun) I say I thought we were taking them to a movie. "well we have to shop". Sorry but I had to be honest. "we were going to go shopping on FRIDAY night originally but now you have changed it to SATURDAY night". Spouse of course is horrified that I would remember and point that out. How dare I question her? Silly me. I said: "let's go inside" not wanting DD to hear what I was about to say. We sit down on couch. I give my practiced speech, as recommended by DB coach: "This must be awful for you. I don't like being me in this sitch but I wouldn't want to be you, torn between two places.You wait until the last minute to tell me your plans because you're so uncomfortable...blah blah blah, I feel your pain, etc etc. thenI go for the big guns (also scripted and recommended) "I wonder how much longer you think we can go on like this? I don't know how much longer I can do this" Spouse says "what's your plan?" I say I don't have a plan. Spouse says I'm not going anywhere, I thought I made that clear when you said you wouldn't give me time with DD. I'm not going anywhere as long as she lives here". I simply responded "I never said that, I said I don't believe in splitting children 50/50"...then I got the hell out of Dodge. I planted the seeds and needed to leave her with her own fertilizer.

Gee, a year ago she was threatening to leave and now she's threatening to stay. Do you ever wonder if you've completely lost your mind? Fantasyland, that's where I live. Spouse can go away with OW for weekend, come home and criticize me. yeah it makes sense. Spouse can threaten to stay in our home. yeah it makes sense.

And did I mention that she had the day from hell at work on Wed so I got her favorite dinner, take out sushi and pretty much kissed her ass all evening? No expectations, no siree, none. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.