Just checking in to see if all is okay. Congraluations on your efforts and may God Bless you and your H as you begin again. Don't forget what you have learned throughout this.
How sweet of you to check up and see how things are going!
They go!
This is not easy - but it's ok.
I find that my biggest problem is me hanging on to all the wonderful things I learned while he was gone. You see - I was not ready for him to come home yet. I actually wanted him to stay away a bit longer.
But I felt that I had placed it in God's hands and He was saying let him come home.
After a few weeks I'm now starting to gain "me" back and put that back into place to remain the person I had become. I like that person. God was working miracles in me the likes I had never seen in my whole lifetime.
priceless.......you have no idea.
H is still moving thru whatever he needs to move thru. I know, and he has admitted as much - that he feels that time is not on his side for trying to get this "music" life going. He knows his age is definitely working against him.........and so he is still very much "it's all about me" and "I can only think about me in all circumstances".
the part that bothers me about that is that he's losing out on so much that could be happening by having that attitude.
because when you reach out to others in a loving and giving way.....they are far more attracted to being with you.
his having to do it all on his own, his way, the hard way, and in many selfish ways..........only backfires on him. He loses more time rather than gaining it.
ya think i'm gonna tell him that? hell no. He'll have to figure it out on his own.
I still have to be very, very careful how to say things to him - but we can communicate - and I see him trying harder with me on that end.
my H didn't like being alone........and found that no one really wanted to be with him as he had possibly hoped. i think he also knew that i really did support his efforts.
but life is still insane.
and we are still wondering where the next dime will come from.
but i am choosing to get back into grasping on to the hand of my precious Lord who knows how to work all things to the good for each of us.
we are the ones who thwart the efforts of our own lives!
what idiots we can be..........oh well.........all part of the growing process.
I still love the challenge of making a better me. I was just caught off guard for a few weeks of h's rentry into my life.
we'll get the hang of this as the days go by.
hope you are well Santhony and enjoying a new and wonderful life for yourself. You have so much to offer someone very special someday. Ah..........if only I were younger........and single...I'd be hitting you up myself. You are a fine catch!!
brue
I'm alive, I'm happy - why shouldn't I tell the world I've got my head screwed back on just fine. Life is good for the Brue!
I think the "self" we find when we go through this process is something that we actually enjoy. I enjoyed finding myself - I realized that I liked that "guy" and wanted "him" to stay around. I think we all have to be careful that we don't lose ourself again - especially as we share ourselves with someone else. Sure, life is a compromise and no two people will ever get along if they didn't work together and compromise. But I think we all need to remember and speak up for what we really want and need to do. You know, I had a lot of time to exercise when I went through this mess. I haven't had so much now - there are lots of excuses, but in the end they are still excuses. I will get back to it immediately now that this stress and extra workload is gone. We have to keep doing the things that made us feel better you know!
I am glad things are moving for you. As you said - a slow road. Maybe you were ready for him, maybe not. But as I have learned our time means precisely squat in regards to God's timing. Hang in there. Better days are ahead for you.
