inpain, I'm heading out to a wedding, LOL, (the irony is rich), I have to be brief. It sounds like you know the script and direction this will go if you tackle it while emotional or without a well defined plan and objective. More of the same just gets us more of the same and we know this, the key is to interrupt that destructive pattern.
Only you will know what is an acceptable answer to that question. Only you know how prepared you are to deal with the consequences, either way. I pray for your strength to be renewed and for you to receive peace now. Is there anyway for you to get out of the house, not be there when he gets home? Go do something that puts a pep in your step, really makes you happy and fully engages you? I would do that. Let his issues, (if they are real), be his, the hiding, the covert crap, all of that, let him carry that weight for now and who knows, maybe he really isn't up to anything but being a clueless kind of guy. Either way, leave it for now and go do something fun for you.
Maybe he can wonder what you are up to and where you might be tonight? Go see some good live music, take a girlfriend and go dancing. Take your mind off of this until its time to focus on where you want to go with the R.
