* Picking on "crucial" things YEARS later * rewriting history * blaming everything on you - everything is so 1-sided * things that had nothing to do with you are suddenly your fault (aka, her inability to mature) * you kicking OM is now making her a victim - raging victim complex
Yep, all MLC. All things I hear from my H all the time. Now he has a raging victim complex at work, as well. He is always the martyr.
Just let go, man.
Breathe deep, this is not about you....she's really whacked and about pointing the finger of blame on everyone.
For me, the moment of stepping way back and even more came when the incongruity of their immaturity and lack of introspection is juxtaposed with our own super-focus on ourselves and growth.
It's like they go backwards while we are shot forwards in growth. And, you just can't be there helping them grow. They have to do it on their own.
Like you did, and we all did. On our own.
Reassure her, but don't be confused or think you can fix this. She has to do it herself. Obviously, it's something she's needed for a LONG time.
