Still Pushing That @#$%ed Rock!

[MoonDog]

Just got done with a heated discussion with the wife. I went home for something and discovered that she was not at work. She informed me that she was going out with a girlfriend tonight. I replied that if it wasn't about chasing men, I was fine with it.

She told me her reason for feeling unsafe. It's because she saw me beat the hell out another man in front of her (The OM). I asked her how she thought I supposed to react in a situation like
that. She said she heard second-hand that he was pretty bruised up and his face was a mess afterward.

I told her that she was safe around me that night, and she always will be safe around me. I would never strike a woman. I'm sure she knows that, but ammo is ammo.

The discussion was back to her not being allowed to have friends, think for herself or make decisions on her own. She has very rare examples where I didn't like someone who called theirselves her friend. Like a girl she had over who tried to seduce me one night when her back was turned, or another who pushed her to drink all of the time. I asked her if trust was an important enough quality to have in a friend and she agreed so. I then asked if she could trust someone as a friend when they would do something like that.

No answer, just another string of accusations.

After listening to her list of grievances, I really don't think there is much of a chance. There are many things that she only sees one side of. Alot of sex issues, where she claims to only have done certain things simply to please and keep the peace. She could have spoken up then. Why, in some cases, years later?

I have admitted to being selfish at times. We all are, but the way she interprets the story, she never was. If not, then why the attitude now? Why the affairs? Why would she be willing to walk out on her family? Everything she is doing at the moment is self-centered and uncaring.

I told her that I wanted one of two things. Get back into the game, get past her issues or get out.

She still seems reluctant to get out. She says she doesn't picture herself with me in five years, yet she still hangs on. She is skeptical that any change she sees in me will last. She claims that she has no feelings toward me.

Then she mentioned a vacation. She doesn't want to go until we are getting along better. So in light of all this, she intends to get along better down the line? Mixed signals out the ya-ya.

Head spinning. Confused...