"He knows what he is doing isn't right, he's admitted it numerous times, but that doesn't mean his mind is going to allow him to just get over it. It's not a question of just scheduling the time. This is something that is going to take a long, long process"
Zactly! My H will even apologize to me now when we don't have sex, after he's pretty much promised me we would. He will talk big during the day...flirt with me, and sometimes I will get my expectatinos up...but more often than not he will not follow through (sometimes he does now, which is a HUGE improvement for him.) Now (to those of you reading) yes, I could initiate....but we are working on HIM doing this. If I go bail him out of the situation by initiating anyway...that doesn't solve the problem. At least NOW he's at a point where he acknowledges to me that he built up the situation, made a promise, and didn't follow through. He no longer tries to ignore it and doesn't try to sweep it under the rug....which is a HUGE improvement.
Progress is slow, but at least it's progress.
Heywyre, I don't know if your H does this or not but mine used to tickle me when I would try to start something sexual. Now, I ABSOLUTELY HATE to be tickled...it takes my desire and sends it right to the polar extreme. Not only do I not want to have sex with him when he tickles me at a time like that I want to get away from him. When we discussed this with our MC quite some time back she believed that it was his way of making me back down and take the pressure off of him sexually....and that by doing that I was the one ending the sexual contact so he wouldn't feel bad.
Anyway...he still does this every now and then (it's unintentional) but he's learning (after being elbowed in the ribs firmly a few times because he tends to tickle when he walks up behind me) how it is I do like to be touched...and he's altering his style conciously to fit me. Again...progress. There are times when he will start to tickle...and he'll see me stiffen up and he will immediately change his touch on me, so he recognizes what he's doing and makes the necessary change.
Can you think of any instances like that with your H?
