Could Use Some Input Over here

[RedHeadWife]

I really can't answer that. I don't know the answer to that. He seems to think he 'tried' to discuss things w/ me more than I think he did, however, I guess that's here nor there. I did, mostly, get angry or defensive when he did try to talk to me about things. I think that's going back to CE's talk about his W getting "frustrated w/ him & the kids" but not doing anything about it. I was stressed, unhappy, frustrated, but I guess maybe I didn't know what I should do to fix that. I also know that I had gotten to the point where I didn't like H very much; maybe blaming him for my feelings of not being happy w/ where I was -- i.e. not knowing who I was anymore, just feeling like I am "mom," etc.

I do, however, think he should have communicated more effectively or thoroughly just how very unhappy he was and his feelings of rejection, etc. a lot earlier and maybe things would have changed. I don't necessarily think he needed to get to the D point before things would change. However, at the same time, I never thought D was an option, so maybe at the time I wouldn't have realized that the fact that he was so unhappy could lead to D. I don't know if I'm making any sense.

I would, however, (if you are in somewhat of the same sitch as my M was some time ago), try to talk to your W and tell her how very serious your feelings are. You don't necessarily need to threaten D right now, but you do need to make sure you get the point across as to how serious it is that changes be made.