So, I'm not allowing myself to "think" too much b/c we all know that leads to nothing but negativity sometimes.
I hope some of the inquiries above are not causing you to think too much right now! It sounds like you've made amazing progress, and I'm so glad things are looking up as your husband prepares to for his deployment. You should be proud of what you've done, however it is you've been able to do it. I'm sure there is more for you to learn from your situation and possibly share with the rest of us, but I'd be happy to wait until a better time for introspection. Enjoy the two weeks you have left, continuing to make progress on you and your situation.
I have just a little to offer from my current situation, if its of any possible use. In my experience, anti-depressents can have a big effect on male "performance" (delaying or preventing the final event), and the level of desire and quickness/openess to being aroused. Effexor significantly had that peculiar delay effect for me, whereas Lexapro and a couple of others have not. The length of time since taking my last dose seems to factor in on the other effects mentioned. If it's almost time for the next day's dose, then the effect seems less; I miss a dose, or two, things seem more normal (e.g., like before being prescribed the SSRIs).
For me, my wife's LD affected me at a couple of levels, but it was never at all just about "sex". It seemed (and seems) that I'm not important enough to her for her to care to meet my needs in that way. Just a little attention in that department from her would feel so emotionally satisfying. It would melt away so much stress I feel in our relationship. I crave that feeling often -- the feeling closer to her that sex brings, the feeling of being loved by her -- but seldom do I crave sex as an end in itself (at least not so much since starting the SSRIs). It's the gift that only she can give me that I long for.
What does that possibly have to do with your situation? What I'm trying to get at is, it wouldn't suprise me if (1) having clearly worn him out physically in the best possible ways (!); and, (2) having done the other things you've been doing to make your marriage and relationship work better, especially in the face of a deployment-imposed separation -- maybe your husband is actually feeling loved by you. Maybe what you've been doing has been really working. Maybe he has been thinking you understand that (thus, his look of suprise, the other day). Maybe there is no need to worry about him seeming content just to hold you and fall asleep, instead of ML. Maybe he's been sleeping very well, close(r) to you.
I also wouldn't be surprised if he would rather talk more about your relationship, where its at, before he leaves -- more than what you think. Maybe a good question to ask is if he feels loved by you. Of course, I could be wrong (and projecting my own situation/needs into this. So please be careful if you give this any consideration.
Thanks for giving me some hope by sharing your progress. I wish you, your husband, relationship, and family all the best!
