Oh, and to make this even MORE fun and slightly more complex:
You will continue to invite in and create situations that created the defense mechanisms to begin with.
For example, just ONE of my defense mechanisms is a fear of intimacy. Shocking, I know. I continue to seek out emotionally distant men, or men who have absolutely no emotional boundaires... so that I can operate in a mode that I am comfortable. In both instances, I am safe. For in one, I cannot get close, and in the other, I must distance in order to not be engulfed.
That is a flippin' pisser. And the only way to deal with either situation is through recognition of what I am doing, and BOUNDARIES. Putting the boundaries in place is one thing. Enforcing the boundaries is where it gets really, really, really tough for me, for ANOTHER of my defense mechanisms was to give up ALL personal boundaries as a child in order to maintain at least SOME emotional connection and semblance of keeping peace, creating a sense of safety (real or not), and NOT being abandoned.
THOSE things set off OTHER defense mechanisms, for you recognize that something isn't quite healthy about your environment and the people in it... so you go to put boundaries in place, and it sets off the whole fippin' cycle all over again.
