New To SSM

[COG]

nvraln,

I'm trying to find that cause my H either doesn't want to discuss the sitch(I'm nagging) or gets angry. I have had some times where he has listened but then doesn't comment and that drives me crazy not knowing what he thinks or feels.

One thing I've learned is that when my W does'nt want to talk about it, or when she listens to what I have to say but does'nt comment, is that she does'nt have anything positive to say. So, she chooses to make no comment. So then I push, and prod, which makes her even more frustrated until she finally says what's on her mind, which is rarely positive in that circumstance. So I've learned to not prod, and push for her to share her "feelings". I'll open the door, but I will not force her through it. When she feels safe, she talks, when she's pressured she clams up.

We need to realize that our frustration comes from within us. It's not our S's fault that we get frustrated, they are who they are. Most likely they're trying to spare us additional pain. They're not IL, they can't love us the way we want to be loved right now. We can beat them to a pulp, and that's not going to change, rather it could make things worse.

All that said, I think after some time and a lot of patience, it's perfectly understandable to stand for what's right and whole in a R.

Keep up the good work,

COG