Unfortunately with someone who has whore/madonna...the old "just do it", while a nice thought simply isn't as easy as it sounds.
I can honestly tell you that with my H I can see sometimes that he WANTS to be able to "just do it", he's sincere in his words to me that he wants to...but there is something that stops him from getting started. It's like an invisible barrier if you will.
In a sense I can kind of understand what he must be going through. I was the ONLY one initiating any sexual contact in our relationship....the entire time. At points I just reached a place where yes, I wanted sex, yes, I thought about sex, yes, I found him completely attractive to me....but I simply COULD NOT bring myself to initiate ANY sexual contact whatsoever. I mean even thinking about having to initiate it...well that pretty much got rid of the desire to do it. I have a very strong suspicion this is similar to what he has to deal with.
My H has a tendancy to overthink rather than act on impulse sometimes...which is what I think probably needs to happen to get him past this barrier.
Now that I think about it though he did see a Neurological Psychologist for awhile who did help him learn to think differently. This guy helped to a degree...unfortunately he seemed more interested in doing tests on my H than helping him to really learn to think about this issue in a different manner.
