I just want to get on with my own life, where I can control my own destiny.
No! No more! I feel like I am going crazy, and I was stupid enough to have come here with him, where I have no friends or family, or any real support where I can go and just talk, and get away from it all. Thank goodness for this forum!
Sorry, also for the negative post. I wish this DB had been a complete success, but once in piecing, the couple, IMHO, has to get to a point where they are both working on the M. And, there has to be open and honest communication, otherwise, what's the point.
Being, It doesn't sound like your M has been in Piecing for a long time, if ever. You've been ready to work on the M, and your H has not. He has returned to his old patterns of relating to you, and the world.
Therefore, you need to lower your expectations of him and revise your DB strategy to reflect where the R is at. I think he needs to feel the consequences of his selfishness, complacency, and rigidity. He needs to see you moving-on. I don't think he respects you or senses that you have the courage to do so. He's counting on you to be basically the same--loyal to the end.
I'm not saying you need to give an ultimatum--though it can be considered. I think you've made some great progress with GAL, and improving your connection to the world. You haven't experimented with (that I'm aware of), the LRT to the extent that you're creating enough distance in the R.
You were hoping that improving your PMA and maintaining a positive connection would be enough to change the R. This has not worked.
He needs to see increased distance in the R, to the extent that he can see that you're emotionally detached. This will hopefully scare him enough to change. The balance of power in your R needs to change, so that it tips more in your direction.
A respite or vacation may also be in order. Any future decisons need to be made when you're in a position of strength and wellness, not frustration.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
