Need help ASAP - convince wife it's not too late

[Heywyre]

12_51

This isn't going to be easy - like NOPkins said, you could start by sending her a copy of your posting here to truly show her you mean business and not just a lame excuse again that you will "do something". You can't believe how many times I heard that from my H just to have him weakly try for a few days or a week or two if I was lucky and then back to the same old thing - which was nothing.

Of course she is taking it personally - how can someone say they desire you, they think you are beautiful, sexy etc. etc. etc. and not do anything about it. It's frustrating and down right despressing at times. My self esteem has gone down the toilet due to my H's rejection. I have tried everything and now, here we are, some 18 years later and he "thinks" he gets it. I love him dearly but, like your W, I think it might be too little too late and I don't know if I can get that desire back. If it is going to happen (and my H and I are still together so I think there is more of a chance) then there is going to have to be some serious effort on both our parts. The same applies to your situation

Just like the old saying, actions speak louder than words, you are going to have to do whatever it takes to show her you mean business. Making an appointment with a sex therapist BEFORE you invite her to come along with you. Saying "I was thinking of making an appointment" will just make it look like you are being forced into it. Take the initiative, do the things that need to be done and include her in them, ask her opinion, make her feel special in the meantime. This is going to be a long road because she has (in her mind) already thrown in the towel and is going to look at a lot of your efforts as "oh sure, NOW he does something about it". She has a lot of insecurities about this whole issue and she might possibly think you are doing it for yourself and/or someone else (other than her). You need to make it perfectly clear to her that SHE is the one that means the most to you and you will do everything in your power to get her back