Thanks for the long replies - lots to think about (more response later). For the moment, hot from the front:
Two new twists - now W seems to accept going to Boston (hm... wonder what changed?) and she has been paid for a job with a significant check. It will be interesting to see if she puts this check into our common account or if it disappears somewhere else. Putting it in the common account would be most fair, as I've been paying for everything for years, after all...
I somehow feel more at peace, too, probably due to the lack of things to anger or upset me for a while. My commitment to a D is reduced...
The 50/50 split thing will be hard for her, as I make much more than she does - maybe a fair compromise is to have her pay her airfare to Boston and contribute to the general welfare?
White caps on the lake, splashing on the sidewalk next to it, windy but getting slowly less (good, since I need to run 20 miles on Sunday), clanking sounds from the flagpole and houses around -
Gotta go - later -
Luke
Hey Luke. I haven't heard the word Machismo in a long long time....
Look I agree with 1210, nix the Boston trip if she doesnt want to join in. Travel around Europe with the kids together or something.
Luke, at some point you are going to have had enough my friend. You will know when that time is, and only you will know. You have shown such amazing love and regard for your wife through all of this and have stood by a woman longer than most men would have. That tells me a great deal about your character and I respect you immensely. Do not worry about getting a D, do not put any self imposed guidelines on a time frame, and do not back off of the person that YOU decided to be throughout this three years.
You will know when the time is right for you to file and get a D and walk away from yoru marriage. If you follow th ethreads around here those who do get there all have one thing in common. They hit a point where they just knew flat out that it was time to call it quits. You don't know that yet, it's obvious as you still want to plan things with her and do things with her. When you get there you will know.
You just keep on taking care of yourself my friend, do not worry about becoming "the man" or being someone that you are not. We've had that discussion before. You are not an alpha male, and that is ok. Just keep being yourself, the great guy that you are and evrything in your life will work itself out the way that it is supposed to.
