New Thread ....Possibilities????

[Bislandgal]

The following is Amy C's post. So am putting it here to keep reminding me of what i need to do

Talkin' to myself...and you, too...

The battles we are all in are won or lost in our own minds.
No matter which side of the fence any of us find ourselves on; LBS, WAS or an MLCer trying to come home again, our worst enemies are (1) ourselves and (2) our spouses and (3) the enemy.

You may only believe in 1 and 2 and that's okay for you.
You're in this battle whether you want to be or not, aren't you?
But has there EVER been another time in your life that you had to consider there is something more than your own strength and knowledge out there? In this desperation, I bet you dare to hope. The worst among us dare to ask God for His mercy now that our families are in jeopardy. I know. I am one of those "worst".

I believe there is most definitely an enemy that wants to destroy families. I figure he was almost successful, too. Through me and through other MLCers and walk-aways.
It was done. Our family units were all broken. How giddy he must have been as each of our marriages fell apart. Destroy the family, destroy the church. And had you never been to church as a family, well his work would now ensure you never would.

But then we heard a word.
Not a "Bible" word, either.
Just a simple word for something we do every day.
Stand.

Don't you wish it was that easy?
Just straighten your legs and get up...
It's not though. That's not all we have to do.
We have to labor intensely.
We have to look at ourselves critically.
We have to face our own mistakes.
We have to own them and we have to open ourselves up to change.
LBS or WAH/W or MLC/WAW/H.
That part of the walk is the same for us all.
Believe me, I kicked and screamed my way down THAT path.
I think we have to, though.
Because the things we deal with about ourselves on that path are ugly. The kicking and screaming bring us to victory.
And we move along to the next lesson a little stronger and dare I say, a little wiser, than before.

You are crushed.
All that you knew is gone and nothing you see suggests that is ever going to change. Your marriage is over. I know the pain and I have felt stupid and hopeless, I have been unforgiven and rejected and asked myself "Am I in denial?", I have been told by my husband that he'd NEVER take me back. NEVER!

If ya'll all knew all the things I'd done when I was in MLC, you think I was a fool to think that things could change. But guess what? They have. And the first thing that changed was ME. And little did I know, when God was holding my feet to the fire, he was working on my husband, too. That began well over a year ago and do you know when I FOUND OUT just what work He'd done in my husband? ABOUT 1 MONTH AGO. All that time. All that hopelessness I fought through to keep standing, all the things I DID NOT SEE OR HEAR...all those things that made me come so close so many times to giving up. Turns out I was wrong.
God was at work and things WERE changing. Oh, my husband didn't show it. He showed me he was SO done. He gave me separation papers and I moved into an apartment. WHY WOULD I STILL BELIEVE??? The answer to that is complex, but it goes back to the 2 weeks I spent on my knees in my bedroom floor when I came out of MLC. It goes back to the waves of desperation that washed over me as God showed me - and made me FEEL - all the pain I'd put my husband through. During that time I picked up Bible and opened it randomly to Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart". That verse spoke to me but it would be some time before I understood just what it meant for me. I have had to "delight myself in the Lord" under so many dreadful and painful circumstances I could just scream. I failed sometimes, I spoke of defeat. I have believed in defeat and wallowed in all that comes with that. But I always come to a crossroads. And I always stand. Not by my strength. "Amy" stopped struggling a long time ago. The spirit in me won't let me quit even though I have begged it to.

At the darkest hour, when I signed the papers and left the only home I've ever known. When I took my son and let my daughter live at home with her Daddy, well, it's never been darker than that for me...that was in December and if you have followed my story since then, you know that's when the miracles started.
The tides began to turn. Now I've seen too much evidence that my faith is justified to give up. When I let go, Someone else took the wheel. It took me 15 months to truly let go of the wheel. But nothing really changed until I did.

I wish I could impart that faith to others.
The ones here that never seem to catch a moment of hope.

I have seen a question asked recently.
How much faith do I need?
The answer to that is that you ALREADY HAVE all that you need.
It is given to every man a measure of faith.
If you will dare to step out on that, you will see your faith grow and it will strengthen you for the next thing that you think will break you...and the next, and the next. Until you stand strong just knowing that you KNOW, that YOU KNOW and nothing can convince you that you believe in vain.

You have to SEE what you want.
Get a picture in your mind of your family restored.
There's a book that's hot now..."The Secret".
I laugh when I see people on TV talk about it like it's the latest magnificent revelation. Honey that's straight BIBLE...it's not a NEW DISCOVERY.
It's about calling things that "be not as though they were".... and it takes a vision to get your mouth moving. You DON'T have to see it with your eyes. "Oh, I'll believe it when I see it"??? you might say....well no, you'll see it, when you believe it.

I'm not trying to get everyone together for a come to Jesus meetin'. You decide what you believe in but for your own sake, believe in something other than the destruction you SEE.
There IS an enemy and there is no truth in him. He came but to lie, steal and destroy.

Some ask me why I can think their spouse will change...
"She's so HATEFUL!!"
"He's in another relationship!"
"He hates me!"
"It's so obvious she doesn't even miss me".....

The answer to that is probably the only one I have.

Because I did!

And I ain't nobody special.

So your husband or wife can change, too.

But I wonder sometimes, what if that is dependent upon someone simply believing???




Amy
_________________________
"...I prophesied as I was commanded...and there was a noise, a rattling sound..."
Ezekiel 37:7