Hi Imlin, I'm new here and have not read your previous thread's, only this one. I saw you beated a MLC full force... WEll I sure respect you for that. Please continue your good work! I'll look up your old threads so I can learn from you!!
PS I'm not sure I should say anything since I'm new at DB but It sounds to me, like your other friend said, that you are mothering him. I can see your concern but it has the opposite effect. (cheeseless tunnel right...LOL)
Monday night we had sort of a intervention with our adult daughters and two of our Christian Elders...
It didn't go so well...H felt ambushed...and he was as I didn't/wasn't able to tell him what it was all about...
He was furious when we got home...and into the next day...I was finally able to tell him that his inability to trust me with his feelings was leading me to feel insecure...I didn't like it...I wasn't afraid of supporting myself...I was afraid of being hurt again for loving someone who wasn't loving me like I should be loved...
I appologized for what happened...did commend him for the good things he was doing...
Since then he has started to show me the affection he had denied me for so long...he also has been trying to be more helpful around the house...
We have been getting along a lot better...so for now...things have settled...I did tell him that he needed a job...by the end of the month...he could at least do part-time...also, he needs to go back to his doctor and to his psychiatrist...he needs help with childhood issues...a mess...but anyway...for now I am heading up hill again...I hope there isn't another cliff at the top!
Today he is feeling particularly depressed...he was talking to me the other day about moving to Hawaii...I told him I am not moving until "I count the cost"....I want him to have a job here and when we have the money saved to safely make that move I want him and I both to have jobs waiting for us there...no suprises...I also need to research a few things...make more visits at different times of the year....he says he saw enough to know he wanted to be there all his days...I said, I think I did but have much more to consider...like my aging parents who are here...my older sister who has her mental problems (controled for now) and her ailing husband...it would be a lot for me to move and then if a real big need came up I would have to return to take care of them...so I need time...more like a few years...I have always lived in the same town my whole life...45 years...moving from all I know...even to such a paradise...will be hard...but I am willing to consider and plan for that...keep it as a goal...
