Hey, Virginia. Thanks. I don't know whether "good" is the word. Let's just say I'm more regularly avoiding meltdowns... which in and of itself is a good thing.

H called again this afternoon, and I let it go to voicemail. \:\) He was asking about some money issues to pay bills and whatnot. He said in this voicemail message, too, to leave him a message about it or whatnot. It's almost like he's waiting for me to go back to "Vegas mode" where I recorded voicemail messages and sent them to him rather than calling him... At any rate, he sent me an e-mail as well. I responded to the e-mail and then listened to the voicemail message, which was about the same issues, so I didn't call him back. \:\) When he sent me the e-mail, at the end he said "talk soon" and put three little emoticons - one smiling, one with shades on, and one winking... That was nice. My reply back was short and to the point. We exchanged a few more short e-mails about the same topic, and he said thanks on the last one, and I didn't respond back. I'm working on it...

I got all of the boxes finished today as far as unpacking them and organizing things at my home office, so tomorrow I should hopefully be able to dive in and get a lot of work done. I'm going to take it easy on myself and just do what I feel like, as this transition is still hard. I'm going to allow myself to ease into it. It feels good to have everything unpacked.

It honestly does feel so much better to not have the anxiety pangs throughout the day from the things I talked about before that I experienced when I was at the office... I miss him, but I think the hurt I felt when I was at the office outweighs missing him right now. It hurts so much to interact with your H daily when you know he is with another woman... I told him the other day that our interactions were hard on me and that it was hard for me to be at the office. He asked if it was the same as it being hard for him to be at home...???? I don't know why it's hard for him to be home - guilt? If we are going to work on things, I would think he would WANT to be home... I don't understand, but I'm fairly certain it is for very different reasons that we feel uncomfortable...

At any rate, I am hanging in there... no major meltdowns since I've been home - just the major backslides on Monday.

So I just finished getting ready for the meeting tonight. Gotta go run some errands before I go, so will head off for now. I'll let you know how tonight goes. I dressed up nice and will be upbeat all night!!!! You're going to miss me if you leave me, sucker!!!! Hee-hee!