Hello. I am new to this site. I have a husband who had an EA last year,with a coworker, but I just found out about it in March, 2007. Accidentally, of course. He was also maintaining his connection to the OW while working on building another affair with someone else at his job. I had suspected that he was interested in the first woman as he talked about her WAY too much, same with the other woman. However, I never thought he was ballsy enough to actually DO some stepping out on me. He has mistreated me very badly over the past few years--neglectful, distant, callous, disdainful, shut me out of his life to maintain his secrecy, abandoned me during my fourth pregnancy last year, told me he wanted a divorce last year.... My question is: How is it possible for this man who had complete disregard for me, to suddenly be "in love" and "wanting to keep me and the family", when he has only stopped his cheating behaviour upon getting caught? He has never shown any initiative in our entire marriage for anything. (He started going to counselling as he was sent there by his principal.) I have been the one who tried to get us into family counselling, begged him to go out with me to keep the marriage going, all to no avail. Suddenly, he wants to do everything that I could not get him to do over the past few years. I just can't buy it--I feel I would be better off rebuilding my self-esteem and my life without him. My children have been devastated by all of the fighting, recent neglect, crying, etc... that this has brought about. Does anyone have any input/advice for me?
Me- 37 H - 37 Together 9 yrs Married 8 yrs Kids 3 boys (9y,3y,6m)1 girl (7y) Discovered EA March 19, 2007
