Of course the separation is a waste of time and a divorce should be filed IF WE CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE AND KNOW THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING TO END ANYWAY....
Can't believe the L didn't "get" that you actually do not want a divorce....so, umm, yes, IF you somehow KNOW a divorce is inevitable, the only advantage to a separation over divorce, that I can think of, is health insurance (and any theological reasons.) But the whole point of this bb is trying Not to divorce. But, doesn't mean you can't protect yourself or the kids of course. There may well come a time when the gloves come off and you need to put your battle armor on, with your sabre rattling. But if that time is not now, or might not ever come, what IS the rush?
Is there a "happy" medium (ok, not a "happy" one, since this sucks all round) or balanced approach? For ME, the legal sep felt as if I was doing something to protect kids and me and slow H's nuttiness down a bit. It did not make him want to reconcile, it made him Mad. (I know,, wth???!!!) BUT, at some level, he took me seriously a bit more, I think...
Anyhow, when I got to the L's office that day, she was the one who said, "what about a sep instead? I think you still love the guy and maybe you two can work it out...I'd love to give you this retainer back..."
As an attorney myself, I will ALWAYS remember her kindness and wisdom and balanced approach to a difficult position for a L. We are advocates for clients who see ourselves in adversarial proceedings...but in family law, it is very different, or should be. I thank God I had her as my L... BUT again, that was MY sitch. Yours may be very different. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
